The Types of Guys in Your Beer League

Everyone loves Beer League. You get to play your favorite game and crack open a cold one with the boys. Maybe you’re the guy who got everyone together to start the team or the newcomer but no matter who you are, you play with a couple of characters. Each player in your league has their quirks and we’re sure you’ll know exactly who’s who on this list and if you don’t, then that character is probably you.

The Stat Padder

beer league player celebrating

This guy will skate over to the ref after every goal to make sure his name appears there with an A or G. He doesn’t care whether the team wins or loses, he just wants to be the league leader in as many stats as possible. He’ll make sure to remind everyone in the dressing room that he has 16 goals and 9 assists in the first 7 games.

Strength: A solid player that can score and create chances.

Weakness: Averaging less than 2 points/period will throw off his entire game.

The Old guy

old guy in beer league

This guy is at least 60 years old and doesn’t wear shoulder pads. He won’t be the greatest player in the league, but he’ll give it his all every shift. He just wants to feel like one of the young guys again even if only for an hour each week. Someday, you’ll be this guy.

Strength: Veteran of the game, so he knows all the tricks.

Weakness: Too Old to react to any of the tricks.

THe Young Guy

child playing hockey

This guy is the opposite of the Old Guy, the young guy is literally a kid. Make no mistake though, this kid is younger, faster, and more skilled than you. He can skate circles around everyone and will make you reminisce of your glory days when you could’ve kept up with him.

Strength: Speed, Skill, and Stamina.

Weakness: Easy target for chirping.

The Motor Mouth

beer league hockey chirp

This guy just won’t shut up. Doesn’t matter if his team is up by 5 or down by 5, he always has something to say. He’ll have the best chirps every game. He loves to say the guys on the other team are wash ups mixed in with a few expletives here and there. The Motor Mouth will try to start fights with everybody, but of course when the time back up his words comes, he’s running to the ref to complain.

Strength: Ability to get under everyone’s skin.

Weakness: Keeping his mouth shut.

The Homer Simpson

guy drinking beer in hockey locker room

This guy always has at least one pre-game beer ready. He takes the whole “Beer-League” name a little too seriously. The Homer may even fill a water bottle with some “Diesel” to get himself going during the game. He just loves beer and hockey so it makes sense for him to combine the two. It’s like it’s his own bottle of Mike’s Secret Stuff or something. You’ll be able to catch this guy at the bar upstairs after every game. He truly lives by the motto “Win or lose, hit the booze”.

Strength: Ability to pound back beers and still be able to skate in a straight line.

Weakness: His liver.

The Happy Gilmore

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The guy is a complete mad man. It doesn’t matter how big or small he is, he’s constantly looking for a fight. He’ll spend most of his night chatting up the scorekeeper from the penalty box. Miraculously, nothing he does should ever be a penalty, he’s always innocent. He’ll be the first to avenge any player taken by a cheap shot and we wouldn’t change a thing about him. He’s a tough guy who is literally fearless and will do whatever it takes to get under the other teams’ skin.

Strength: Willing to take his skate off and stab someone if that’s what it comes to.

Weakness: Can only play 30 seconds at a time before getting sent to the box.

What are some of your favorite beer league characters and which one are you? Let us know by tweeting at us @Jersefactory00

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